You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
