Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
