in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
