Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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