I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
