i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
