Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
