I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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