Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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