Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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