I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
