This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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