I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
