this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
