Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish you could order shots online.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
