his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
