so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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