I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
