If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
