I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just gargled with NyQuil
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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