You can't motorboat a personality
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
