I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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