I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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