Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
