there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
