I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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