Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
