Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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