I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
