it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
