I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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