How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
