so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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