I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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