were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
