Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
