What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
