It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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