i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
