Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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