It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
