is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
