The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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