1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
