you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
