That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
