Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
