I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
