kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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