Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
