i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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