sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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